The click of the buckle barely noticed as my nose was assaulted by what could only be called, BO. What? How could this be? Surely I put my deoderant on this morning. I am a woman of routine. Car put into gear I began the drive to my next of 3 stops, all to be completed before meeting our son at the bus stop for pick up. My nose crinkled, once again slapped with an unpleasant scent. A glance around my car to be sure no one was watching, I pulled the under arm of my jacket toward my nose.
I stink. It must be the jacket. Certain I had forgottent to wash it, I wiggled my hand through the neck of my shirt, down the should and into my armpit. My pit skin dry, free of the texture of cream. I rubbed the skin and then brought my fingers to my nose for a sniff. Ugh.
Lightbulb! I used to keep a travel size deoderant in my car compartment in case of this exact occurance when taking clients to view homes. Brilliant (yes, I complimented myself)! Keeping my eyes on the road my hand fumbled around finding pens, chapstick, scissors and then what felt like….
Yes, there it was. A small stick of deoderant. I tried to pull the cap off while hoping the next stop light would be red. If I could put it on while at a light, I wouldn’t be late to Bible Study. I approached a light and removed the cap. A large clump of crumbled white deoderant fell onto my seat between my legs. I glanced down and then back at the car infront of me, seeing the headline clearly, ‘Woman rear ends car while applying deoderant.’
‘Keep your legs apart, do NOT get this white mess on your clean black pants. You do not have time to go home and change.’ I often talk to myself, who doesn’t? At the light I scooped the crumbled but still mushy mess of deoderant off the seat and plopped it in my empty cup holder. At the next light I put the car in park, unbuckled and reached over to grab the box of kleenex on the floor, placed them safely on the seat next to me and rebuckled. Green means go sister.
As I approached the next red light my fingers removed a small portion of the clump of deoderant after having unzipped my jacket and making sure my shirt was loose enough to maneuver under. Once stopped, I slipped my hand under my shirt, up to my arpit and spread the cream all around the skin, covering the BO smell with fresh scent. Traffic light turned green, the other pit would have to wait. Got it, okay, now to clean my hands. Kleenex to the rescue.
Now smelling better than I had, I parked my car and continued my non-stop day which did not come to an end until I had delivered our son to soccer practice, late, at 5:05 PM. I forgot to mention, when taking him to practice my car suddenly died, over and over again. Each time I put it in drive or reverse with little to no gas. I babied it to get him to practice then came home to look up the warranty. That will wait until tomorrow. For now, I must cook dinner.
Note to self: Purchase new travel size deoderant for car.